mitch + gunner

An intimate, authentic outlook on all things covenant.

A Talk in the Midst of Trial

We talked on the Kiss the Waves podcast about where we are right now, what we’re desiring of God and the gift in wilderness experiences. The in-between is an uncomfortable place. But the Holy Spirit is our comforter. Have a listen here . We pray you enjoy. Please subscribe, rate, and review the podcast. Available on iTunes, Google Play and Spotify!

Love + Light

Discernment

Merriam Webster defines discernment as the following:

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Personally, the especially eye-catching part of the definition is “able to…comprehend what is obscure.” Someone who is discerning can catch what is not caught by many. They are a person who can decipher through mystery, someone who can decode what is cryptic, someone with eyes that see past the natural- eyes that see around corners.

When I was young, I truly believed teachers and moms had eyes in the back of their heads. They always knew when you were lying! They were, discerning. They had the intuition of an old sage, they knew what you were doing at all times no matter how sly you tried to be. As I got older, the more disillusioned I became. Their only superpower was their experience. You’ve heard the idiom before, albeit cliche, it is true: “Experience is the best teacher.”

The people closest to you, have experienced you. They’ve learned your habits, your quirks, your likes and dislikes, your facial expressions and what they mean. They’ve adapted to you, and you, them. Once you both reach a level of trust, you become sounding boards for one another. You share secrets, ideas, conflicts and the like. You give them permission to peer into your heart and point out the monsters. Because, friends are not only for going to brunch and sending memes. They are for the valleys and the peaks, the heart-wrenching, the exhilarating, the shocking and everything in between.

We’ve said it before, but we TRULY believe marrying your best friend is a very wise decision. One you will immediately see a return on. In moments when you may not know how to navigate being lovers, or co-parents, or financial partners, being a friend will be natural and effortless. Being a friend will ultimately lay the foundation for everything else. Marriage is nuanced, so is adulthood. You are two individuals, inevitably polar opposites because God is funny like that, who need one another. The need becomes more and more evident the longer you are married. In order for the partnership to work, you have to trust one another- trust that the other person will remain faithful, honest, responsible, engaged, alert, and resilient. And in the moments where either of you fall short of that, trusting you will find covering in one another is paramount.

All that being said, no one knows you like your husband or wife knows you. This can sometimes be a point of contention and resentment. You know so much about one another you become disenchanted and even dissatisfied. On the other hand, intimate knowledge of one another can draw you closer and deeper into the presence and power of God. If we both recognize our condition, if we both know how desperately we need Jesus in order for anything to make sense, we will seek Him, wholeheartedly, TOGETHER. We will trust the other’s discernment because we know the other has been on a quest for the truth in who Jesus is and what He desires for us.

Even when we can’t trust ourselves, we still know God is good. Even if we’re not hearing anything when we fall on our knees, we know our spouse has been interceding and possibly has heard something themselves. Thus, the seeking continues. A deep longing for God, will always result in a deep longing for one another. It’ll be easy to see past your insecurities and doubts when you’re in love. You’ll take your wife’s word when she doesn’t have peace about a business deal. You’ll hear your husband out when he discerns something off about a new girlfriend you’re spending time with. You know their intent is not malicious, because it is rooted in love, in partnership, in trust.

If you feel spiritually disconnected from your spouse, if you don’t think they trust or honor your discernment, read your word with a new tenacity. Contend for peace in your household, tell the enemy where to go, ingratiate your spouse with THEIR love language, cover them in prayer as they sleep, give God your marriage in word and in deed, and I PROMISE, you will begin to see a change. If you have been called to one another, you have been graced for one another. Your spouse is God’s responsibility, your role, is to love.

Know this, we are covering you too. God-centered marriage is one of the hardest undertakings EVER. We’re with you, we know. It is your duty as a spouse to REMAIN in prayer. No matter what.

Love and Light,

Kel + Morgan

Hug it Out

It amazes me how much can be assuaged by physical touch. We believe intimacy begins with vulnerability. So here’s a tip for the next time you and someone you love have a disagreement. Have a nice warm hug. There is so much healing in embracing one another. Sometimes more can be said in a hug than words could ever articulate.


The enemy would love nothing more than to separate you from the people around you. Instead of withdrawing emotionally, physically and verbally after an argument or disagreement, take time to just hug. It doesn’t mean you have to come to a resolution or even an apology. Just hug, and come back to the discussion later if necessary. 

We all want love and acceptance, we all want to be heard and understood. When we meet one another where we are, when we seek to understand more than we seek to be understood, there’s room for true intimacy. The depth of a relationship is found in the moments that can’t be quantified, in the moments that are void of spoken word. With every touch we gain ground. We all know love is war. We all know marriage is work. It is a battle sometimes. When we hug, we remind one another of why we started this thing in the first place. 

So, don’t yell. Just hug. 

It’s an act of solidarity, a display of priority, a direct attack on the agenda of the enemy. 

Love + Light,

Kel and Morgan


Here's the Secret

Many of us become frustrated with finding a partner. Many of us who are believers feel as though God is holding out on us. We watch everyone around us “find love.” But there is so much to be discovered in preparation to do life with someone. The biggest key to having a successful marriage is depending solely on the Lord. Jimmy Evans is one of the GOAT’s when it comes to being an authority on Christ-centered marriages.



Check this video out!



Love Heals all Past Wounds

We talk a lot about how love heals us, how our spouses are healing agents for us. Here's a more in depth look into Kel (Gunner) and his experience as being loved into wholeness. We pray you enjoy and benefit from the transparency. It isn't the easiest thing, but it is certainly rewarding. 

Leave us a comment and let us know how love has healed you!

Don't Be Casual

"Because relationships are consequential, they should not be treated casually."

- Dr. Dharius Daniels 

It's so important we understand that our relationships can literally change the course of our lives. Who you choose to link up with can determine so much about your future. Our decisions are PARAMOUNT. Be careful with yourself. Be sure the people you're handing your heart to have clean hands. People's intentions are evident in their actions and attitudes. Pay attention. 

Here's a really great sermon on this very subject. Enjoy it, and let us know what you think!

 

 

It's a Struggle

Brought Low

God has brought us really low. Every position in our lives is a humble one. We serve people. Oftentimes, with little to no return. It can be really hurtful. To thrust your all into ministry, into a vision, into a business venture, into people, and be left feeling depleted and taken advantage of. 

We are most times left wondering when our turn will come. Will we always be the underdog? Will we always be underestimated and underappreciated? Will we always feel this way? Will we always have less than enough? Are we doing something wrong? Do we need to fix something? Have we missed something? Why so much lack, so much pain, so much sacrifice?

What these kinds of circumstances lead you to is a beautiful resolve to:

- Lean on God solely for sustenance, approval, love, and reward. We normally have unrealistic expectations for ourselves, others, and the world around us

- Trust the process even when you don't understand

- Let the people in your life who are a blessing to you know that they are valued because you know firsthand what it feels like to be under-valued

You're probably wondering where all of this is coming from. There is no semblance of struggle on our faces, or wardrobe, or social media accounts. The outside lens can be a double-edged sword sometimes. We need your prayers just as much as you need ours. 

There are lulls in posting because we are real people with real lives and real struggles. Wrapping our lives around the Savior means being inconvenienced. It means making time to re-boot before you present yourself to the world. It means we care a whole lot about what we produce and are prayerful about our content. 

So that's what we've done. We're experiencing loss, walking through disappointment, trying to nurse newborn dreams and foster better relationships all while aiming toward Dave Ramsey's Step 1. Trying to get over being slaves to our bodies, our emotions, our flesh and come under the submission of Jesus. 

IT IS A STRUGGLE. 

Our marriage is a testament of how whatever is founded on the Rock of Ages, will NOT fail. We remain so deeply in love even in the face of trials. We have one another. I think that's one of the sweetest things about following Christ; always having Him. We only have one another in the confines of marriage for a short period of time since there is no marriage in Heaven. But we have God, our Abba, for eternity. He wants us to always know He's near, to press through adversity fearlessly because we know our Redeemer is alive. 

Together is better.

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So, we're saying all this to say, thank you for your readership. Thank you for your support and prayers. Thank you for the way you love us. If you are in a similar space, if God has brought you low, if you've submitted all you have to Him and still feel empty, we are praying for you. But more importantly we want you to know, you are NOT alone. The Father, the one who planned all this and knew you before you even in your mother's womb, wants to walk you through all of this! He loves you!

What this means for your relationships

The nature of your relationships will automatically improve when you have a resolve to please and honor God with your life. When you want to lay yourself down, take up your cross and walk. (Luke 9:23)When you want to follow Him more than you want comfort, or accolades, or money, or recognition, or romance. When we truly behold Him in all His splendor, looking back is the furthest thing from our minds. 

If you're needing extra encouragement and hope, consider fasting and devoting yourself to scripture and prayer. It helps so much, and truly gets you re-focused. There was a prophetic word released last week that really blessed us and we'd like to share it with you as well. Click here to read. 

We love you, 

Kel + Morgan

Sowing Into Good Ground

If you've been blessed in any way by our ministry and would like to sow into it. Please feel free to do just that! We appreciate your generosity and faith in the vision God has given us to advance His kingdom in mighty ways. Click here to give. 

Failure to Yield

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When I was in college, I was in a car accident. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was at a four-way stop. I misjudged how fast the oncoming traffic was approaching and attempted to just book it across the street. That split second, irrational decision born out of sheer impatience cost me big time. I was hit by an oncoming truck and slammed into another truck. 

I was at fault because I failed to yield. When you’re at fault you have to pay up. Ever since that moment, I’ve been extremely cautious at four-way stops. I’ll sit there all day to ensure safe passage to the other side. I’ve become hyper-vigilant. In the same way, this car accident shaped the way I drive, the Lord has taught me some hard lessons in relationships as well when it comes to yielding. 

You’re Not as Right as You Think You Are

Admission of fault does not mean you are weak. On the contrary! It takes a great amount of courage and humility to admit when you’ve wronged someone. You never get a prize for being right in a relationship. No golden stars, no kudos, no pats on the back. What you will always be rewarded for, in one way or another, is grace and poise. Furthermore, and probably most importantly, God is the only just judge. He ultimately decides WHAT is right or wrong, not who. He’s concerned with you being loving and forgiving, not you proving your point. 

Yielding most times looks like covering others with love, not giving in to negative emotions or thoughts. It is so easy to rehearse anger, hatred, and contempt in our hearts and minds. Before we know it, we’re ready to divorce our spouse for them not washing the dishes last month. Instead of planting seeds of disappointment, believe the best about one another and expect the best. 

God Will Not Be Mocked

One of my favorite scriptures comes from Galatians 6:7: “Don't be misled--you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant.”

In other words, don’t be foolish enough to believe you can sow bitterness in a relationship and reap goodness and sweetness. It’s also important to remember, if you are mindful enough to remain peaceful and generous even if it isn’t reciprocated by the other person, God will still honor you. It is a mockery to think a just, good God wouldn’t allow you to reap goodness after sowing it. You’re never at a loss when you pursue and act on His word. Take some time to read James 1:22-25. I recently heard a quote that really impacted me. "Nothing is wasted when you've covered it in prayer." There are so many scriptures admonishing us to choose love and to pray without ceasing. You can rest assured no matter what the situation looks like, when you take it to the throne room, you can leave it there and go on about your life because no one can change a situation like our Lord and Savior! It also always encourages me that Jesus sits at the right hand of God, making petitions for us constantly. The ultimate prayer warrior has endured all struggles and did not succumb to them, but overcome them! Who better to cover us in prayer? Read Romans 8:34!

We often take our spouses for granted. We throw our weight around because we are certainly certain they’ll never leave. Friends, that is such a wicked approach to holy matrimony and the sacred covenant of marriage. I’m reminded of this scripture when I think about taking others for granted. 

“…Should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it? Or have you forget that when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death?”

- Romans 6:1-3

I’ve said it before, but when you get married, you die to yourself a little more than you did when you chose Christ. It is a hands-on experience of humility and the battling of one’s flesh in order to become one flesh. We put up with a lot from our spouses, oftentimes, because of how much we love them. But loved people, love people, and forgiven people forgive people. 

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Fill in the Blanks

One of the very best exercises I think any Christian can do to gain perspective and humility is replacing the word love with your name in the love chapter of the Bible (1 Corinthians 13). Make the necessary adjustments and repent, we all have growing to do.

I also think it’s a healthy practice to humble yourself verbally to your spouse, even if you don’t think you’ve done anything wrong, just cover all bases and apologize for anything you may have done to hurt, offend, or make them feel anything other than loved. That’s a great deposit in the love tank, and godliness profits in all things. 

Stay close to Him, 

Morgan