Personally, the especially eye-catching part of the definition is “able to…comprehend what is obscure.” Someone who is discerning can catch what is not caught by many. They are a person who can decipher through mystery, someone who can decode what is cryptic, someone with eyes that see past the natural- eyes that see around corners.
When I was young, I truly believed teachers and moms had eyes in the back of their heads. They always knew when you were lying! They were, discerning. They had the intuition of an old sage, they knew what you were doing at all times no matter how sly you tried to be. As I got older, the more disillusioned I became. Their only superpower was their experience. You’ve heard the idiom before, albeit cliche, it is true: “Experience is the best teacher.”
The people closest to you, have experienced you. They’ve learned your habits, your quirks, your likes and dislikes, your facial expressions and what they mean. They’ve adapted to you, and you, them. Once you both reach a level of trust, you become sounding boards for one another. You share secrets, ideas, conflicts and the like. You give them permission to peer into your heart and point out the monsters. Because, friends are not only for going to brunch and sending memes. They are for the valleys and the peaks, the heart-wrenching, the exhilarating, the shocking and everything in between.
We’ve said it before, but we TRULY believe marrying your best friend is a very wise decision. One you will immediately see a return on. In moments when you may not know how to navigate being lovers, or co-parents, or financial partners, being a friend will be natural and effortless. Being a friend will ultimately lay the foundation for everything else. Marriage is nuanced, so is adulthood. You are two individuals, inevitably polar opposites because God is funny like that, who need one another. The need becomes more and more evident the longer you are married. In order for the partnership to work, you have to trust one another- trust that the other person will remain faithful, honest, responsible, engaged, alert, and resilient. And in the moments where either of you fall short of that, trusting you will find covering in one another is paramount.
All that being said, no one knows you like your husband or wife knows you. This can sometimes be a point of contention and resentment. You know so much about one another you become disenchanted and even dissatisfied. On the other hand, intimate knowledge of one another can draw you closer and deeper into the presence and power of God. If we both recognize our condition, if we both know how desperately we need Jesus in order for anything to make sense, we will seek Him, wholeheartedly, TOGETHER. We will trust the other’s discernment because we know the other has been on a quest for the truth in who Jesus is and what He desires for us.
Even when we can’t trust ourselves, we still know God is good. Even if we’re not hearing anything when we fall on our knees, we know our spouse has been interceding and possibly has heard something themselves. Thus, the seeking continues. A deep longing for God, will always result in a deep longing for one another. It’ll be easy to see past your insecurities and doubts when you’re in love. You’ll take your wife’s word when she doesn’t have peace about a business deal. You’ll hear your husband out when he discerns something off about a new girlfriend you’re spending time with. You know their intent is not malicious, because it is rooted in love, in partnership, in trust.
If you feel spiritually disconnected from your spouse, if you don’t think they trust or honor your discernment, read your word with a new tenacity. Contend for peace in your household, tell the enemy where to go, ingratiate your spouse with THEIR love language, cover them in prayer as they sleep, give God your marriage in word and in deed, and I PROMISE, you will begin to see a change. If you have been called to one another, you have been graced for one another. Your spouse is God’s responsibility, your role, is to love.
Know this, we are covering you too. God-centered marriage is one of the hardest undertakings EVER. We’re with you, we know. It is your duty as a spouse to REMAIN in prayer. No matter what.
Love and Light,
Kel + Morgan